Goodbyes are hard

Although this is a bit of a personal blog, it’s a must for me to mention such event in my life, as this is currently effecting my studies' performance.

This week didn’t start very well for me, as my dearest grandma sadly passed away. This week was actually the toughest and most difficult in my entire life. Last Sunday I had the last opportunity to visit my grandma at hospital for the very last time and that day she was in a very critical condition and unconscious. That day, before I was leaving, I told her goodbye and that I will come visit the next day… although she was unconscious she heard me as she slightly opened her eyes and nodded to my words. She looked like she wanted to tell me something but unfortunately, she didn’t have enough strength.

The following morning, I woke up to the worst news in my life that she had just passed away. To this I cried my eyes out, knowing that I will not see her ever again. At the same time knowing that she will be in better place and resting forever. Although, till today I haven't accepted this fact and I'm still pretending her to appear somewhere as my mind keeps thinking that's impossible that she's gone forever.

Me and my family will be missing her more than the rest of the family as she was living with us and she was a huge part of my life and now I feel part of me is missing. During this week me and my family are experiencing grief, and for me and my brothers, it’s the first time that we lost someone who was very close to us.

Well, reflecting back in time during when she was alive, I could say that I don’t have much disappointments or regrets concerning her because I always tried my best to please her and keep her happy, although we had arguments, but that’s normal. What I could say that I learned from this experience is that you have to live your life to the full, and appreciate more the moments with loved ones as we don’t know what the future might lead us into. I’m also glad that I had her in my life as she taught me a lot and I will be following her steps.

As mentioned earlier, this event is effecting my studies as I’m not fully concentrated and I’m mentally tired and drained. So this week I missed all lessons and had to ask for an extension regarding only one assignment. The lecturer concerned understood the situation and granted approval for the extension. For the other assignments, the work had to be done in groups and my part was almost done till last Sunday. The group members also seemed to understand my situation and were fine to continue the last parts of the work on their own. I also spoke with the lecturers concerned and they also understood the situation.

With the aim to moving on, I will try to do my best and start attending lectures as from next semester. During the progress week I will try to work on the remaining assignment, to be on time and try to make my grandma proud.